This might not be the popular opinion or the “right” thing to say but experience has taught me that women aren’t always nice to other women. The notion of women bringing other women along I think is at times just talk of politicians….you want to believe them, you cast your vote for them and then you realize that their moral compass doesn’t always point in the same direction as yours. I’ve had two disappointing experiences lately with women that have reminded me that a sisterhood only seems to exist if there is no competition or the other woman isn’t dressed better, weighs less or has a happier relationship. What has happened to a culture where what is good for one of us is great for the cause? I go to lots of events and meet lots of women around town. My recent run-in’s have ironically involved instances with women who are both in charge of a networking group specific for women. Doesn’t that seem backwards? Help me to understand… you start a woman’s networking group and preach about this sisterhood of women and then you either get intimidated by a member’s success or feel challenged by the lack of opportunity coming your way. I find myself becoming highly selective of the women I now surround myself with because trust is no longer an assumption. The generations before us fought hard to get a seat at the board room table and yet this next generation doesn’t seem to appreciate the sacrifice and wants to tear it down by infighting instead of building on the success of our predecessors. I’m disheartened by what I am experiencing in the market place, but at the same time it makes me only celebrate the small but mighty group of women I choose to have in my professional and personal life. I know wholeheartedly that these women are my cheerleaders, my collaborators and my partners. We appreciate that when one of us succeeds, it just means there is more opportunity for all of us. Do you know who is really in your small but mighty group of women?
What are your experiences? Can we get back to a culture of collaboration and bringing other women along or does the taste of success drive us to be competitive in a detrimental way? What needs to change in our corporate culture? Can you really name the 5 women in your life that “have your back” versus trying to stab you in the back?
I really hope I am wrong and my experiences are unique to women in general. If that’s the case, it’s time for a little self-reflection but my gut tells me I’m not wrong…so where do we go from here?
I think I see the next topic at CADY being formulated!!