I am delighted to have been profiled by Arbiter News in their Meet the Author section. My favorite question, outside of the chance to talk about my book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live was when they asked who I would invite to a dinner party. Who would you invite if you could only have 5 guests (alive or dead and real or make believe?)
In Chapter 2 of my book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, I ask the question, “What is keeping you locked up?” You may think your life is chugging along without much interruption but I would challenge you to think about the story you are telling yourself that doesn’t allow you the permission to design your best life. Perhaps it stems from childhood, or an ex telling you that you are less than, or comparing yourself to every Photoshopped woman in magazines.
Embarrassingly, I held onto something that happened to me in high school for over 20 years. It all stems from my self-doubt about my prom date asking me out of charity versus out of desire. I share my lack of self-esteem for all to read in Chapter 2. It wasn’t until I met my prom date at our 20th reunion that I was able to silence the tape in my head about not being good enough. Twenty years of telling myself I was less than and a charity case crept into all of my future relationships with men. I had allowed myself to craft a story that was untrue and to live in a place of feeling like a bridesmaid and never a bride. Take it from me, that has been exhausting.
What I’ve come to learn is that usually the crazy story we are telling ourselves is far from reality, but until we face the demon head on (in my case, admitting to my prom date that I thought he took me out of charity and being shot down by his reality) it paralyzes us from being authentic and soulfully happy.
Thanks to the creative genius, Ceci Johnson of Ceci New York, I’m proud to show you the cover for my forthcoming book, Permission – Stop Competing and Start Creating the Life You Want to Live. The book will be published before the end of 2014.
Would you like to spread the Permission message? I’m busy booking speaking engagements so let’s chat!
About the Book…
Forget “leaning in” or “leaning out” to get ahead both personally and professionally, Nicole Matthews, Founder and Lifestyle Architect of The Henley Company, champions the power of “leaning on” others to help you to create the life you want to live by being own architect. This witty, humorous and self-deprecating tale of a 40-something that has had more fascinating life experiences than dates, will have you realizing that giving yourself permission is step number one to start living your best life! As the designer of the highly successful, Sex and the City, movie launch party events, and as a leader in the special events community, Matthews is at the top of her game, but not without having to overcome challenges and mend emotionally, financially and personally.
The personal journey of Nicole R. Matthews, a social media loving, generation x’er, who cherishes unique experiences, stamps in her passports and trying to make sense of the opposite sex, is humorously chronicled in Permission – Stop Competing & Start Creating The Life You Want To Live.
Through her stories, Matthews shares the heartbreak she endured that was so deep it rivaled Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall, a depression so profound she spent the night in the ER with the other crazies, and a self-esteem demon that liked to rear its head in the most inopportune moments – like on a date with a man-person! But yet, in spite of the setbacks and the “stuff” she faced, she still has found the courage to give herself permission to get out of broken relationships, start a successful business, and create the opportunities to honor her most precious authentic intentions.
For Matthews, Permission-Stop Competing & Start Creating The Life You Want To Live is a catalyst for launching The Permission Mission, a community of individuals who commit to designing the life they want to live, and to create opportunities that add unique experiences to the fabric of their lives. As part of The Permission Mission, Matthews will start Concierge Circles™, a social club focused on creating a community of women who “lean on” each other for support, encourage each other to become architects of their own lives, manage their busy schedules and seek personal enrichment.
Over this past weekend, I attended the BlogHer ’11 conference, which was held at the San Diego Convention Center. Over 3000 women bloggers invaded our city. It was amazing to be in the same room with some of the world’s most prolific bloggers. These women have hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of followers to their blogs.
If you ever doubted their significance, you only need to walk through the exhibit floor where every major brand you can think of under the sun is pitching their products to the bloggers. They want to get their products into the hands of the bloggers so they can start gaining reviews of their products. When a blogger endorses a product, their entire community of followers are exposed to it and are more likely to make the purchase. These social media mavens are a force to be reckoned with! You can imagine the swag bag we were all given. It’s better than any stocking at Christmas!
To be in the room with these blogging celebrities and to learn about how they are redefining marketing and product advertising, was very inspiring. It even motivated me to reengage with my blog, which has not had as much attention lately as it deserves!
Even the Jimmy Dean Sunshine Guy made an appearance! You know these bloggers are a force when even the sun shows up!
