Relationships make the world go round but few of us were ever taught HOW to maximize our net worth through our network.
In just 60 minutes, I’ll share my 5-tips on how to cultivate relationships that yield humongous results. Brimming with examples from my own personal success, this “serial asker” spills my insider secrets about how to catapult relationships into dollar in your bank account.
Discover How To…
Test if your relationships are helping or hurting your bank account
Avoid the #1 professional mistake that most women make and they don’t even know!
Cultivate relationships you haven’t even made yet!
Create your own revenue and media generating opportunities!
Master the easy techniques to authentically ask for help!
If you feel like you are on the treadmill of life, not getting ahead or achieving what you want, you’ll want to treat yourself to these 60 minutes of learning, inspiration and action plans. Life begins with the permission you give yourself to succeed!
Hosted By: Nicole Matthews
As an in-demand speaker on entrepreneurship and personal development, I have presented across the globe, including Scotland and Mexico. I am also the author of Permission: Stop Competing and Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, and owner of The Henley Co, a global event, travel and lifestyle management firm. In all aspects of my work, I champion the importance of designing an authentic and prosperous life!
Welcome to Playground Chatter! Our blog series, where we get to profile and chat with some of the best executives in town! Sure, we could ask about all their fancy business stuff but since we are fun monsters, we want to know how they spend their spare time on the playground of life!
Tell us where you spent your childhood years. Is there one year you remember most? I grew up on the east coast of Canada, in New Brunswick. I had a pretty awesome childhood and most of the years were great. We spent our entire days outside, playing street hockey, exploring the forest, biking through sand dunes. I also remember starting our camping years with my family. But I really loved the first few years of school, especially grade 3, when we had an exchange teacher from England, Miss Scott who really was amazing. I was also at the peak of my academic skills and athletic skills. Aside from doing well is school, I remember being a strong long distance runner and the dodgeball champ. But soon, my athletic skills would go down big time. Finally in grade 5, I was honoured to skip a grade, which as pretty cool.
Favorite part of the playground to hang out in? I was either playing hockey or baseball on one side, or on the other side with the girls playing jump rope. Even back then, I was mixing up and not caring about any stereotypical gender roles.
Lunch pail, brown bag or did you buy lunch? I was the guy who had his mom make soup and toast once a week in my lunch pail. That was a treat, as was my mom’s famous curried ground beef sandwiches. But my staple lunch, and I can’t believe I’m sharing this with you, was actually ketchup and lettuce sandwiches.
What would be your ideal recess today? Hmm…ideal recess would be hanging with the girls talking about boys, then playing different team sports. I would have a nice bagel for a snack.
If I deemed you Playground Monitor for the next 15 minutes, how would you rally your employees? What activity would everyone participate in? I get us all to play a combination of my favourite teambuilding games, including Big Booty, Zip-Zap-Bop and Take and Stand. Big Booty and Zip-Zap-Bop are improve games. Take a Stand is where we take an issue or situation and get people to choose one side over the other and then say why they chose that side.
What rules did you learn on the playground that you still utilize today? I moved around from location to location. Learning about the diversity of the playground is also how I live my life with connecting. I believe the diversity of my network leads to diversity of thought, experiences and action. I did learn that kids can be cruel sometimes to one another and teaching my own children to believe in themselves and stand up for themselves will be key. I also learned about playing fair and playing inclusively. Finally I learned that men and women can play anything they want, regardless of what people tell you what you should and should not do.
When does time disappear for you? Vacation time is a good one. Play time is another big one. When I was a kid, playing hockey, snow sledding or going rock climbing, I never noticed how late it got until the sun started setting. Nowadays, only on vacation do I feel time disappear. It is a hard feeling to capture again.
What is your authentic intention (that thing that you really, really want to do or accomplish?) What are you doing to get there? My big intention is to help one million hearts find their authentic path of passion and purpose. I seek to inspire and teach these ‘lost leaders’ as a world-class speaker, author and coach. I want to tell them that it’s okay to feel lost personally, professionally and academically because I have too. But it’s not okay to do little about it.
I am getting there more now by having my first speaker agent, coming out with my first books on ‘How to Network Anytime’, and I just created a 12-week modular coaching program called Networking Mastery.
In her book Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, Nicole Matthews, Founder of The Henley Company, talks about giving yourself permission to design your best life. Which area of your life needs a little more attention? What are you willing to give yourself permission to do? The biggest area is my health. I recently started a movement called #FitInMyLife because initially I wanted to get fit in my life, after a lifetime of just ignoring it or letting things get worse. I now realize that this movement and hashtag is two-fold because, I am also trying to make everything fit in my life – my kids, my wife, my business, my health, my friends and everything else I want to do in this world. I am willing to give myself permission to spend some time during the weekdays to do healthy things and focus my attention on my young children whenever they are home. Then I am Super Daddy. But it takes some toll on my ability to spend on my business. This is one of the reasons why I am looking now at ways to scale and automate revenue systems.
Define happiness in less than 140 characters. The feeling, creation or manifestation of authentic joy, fulfillment, purpose and peace, whether for yourself, others or the world.
Grab your colored chalk and write a motto on the asphalt of the playground for all the kids to see. What’s your message? Fight for your life: the one you truly want to live, with success defined by you and supported by those who love you.
What will you do from this day forward to design your life to better incorporate more recess? (Pinky Swear). I will try to incorporate more recess where time can disappear and gratitude can create monuments of every moment.
I will look at my life more holistically and find the balance between planning for my purpose, impact and legacy while also exploring all the joy and happiness that this world has to offer.
I will continue my path of love, gratitude and leadership to serve every lost leader in my story and role as a father, brother, son, partner, friend and business person.
I am delighted to have been profiled by Arbiter News in their Meet the Author section. My favorite question, outside of the chance to talk about my book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live was when they asked who I would invite to a dinner party. Who would you invite if you could only have 5 guests (alive or dead and real or make believe?)
In Chapter 2 of my book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, I ask the question, “What is keeping you locked up?” You may think your life is chugging along without much interruption but I would challenge you to think about the story you are telling yourself that doesn’t allow you the permission to design your best life. Perhaps it stems from childhood, or an ex telling you that you are less than, or comparing yourself to every Photoshopped woman in magazines.
Embarrassingly, I held onto something that happened to me in high school for over 20 years. It all stems from my self-doubt about my prom date asking me out of charity versus out of desire. I share my lack of self-esteem for all to read in Chapter 2. It wasn’t until I met my prom date at our 20th reunion that I was able to silence the tape in my head about not being good enough. Twenty years of telling myself I was less than and a charity case crept into all of my future relationships with men. I had allowed myself to craft a story that was untrue and to live in a place of feeling like a bridesmaid and never a bride. Take it from me, that has been exhausting.
What I’ve come to learn is that usually the crazy story we are telling ourselves is far from reality, but until we face the demon head on (in my case, admitting to my prom date that I thought he took me out of charity and being shot down by his reality) it paralyzes us from being authentic and soulfully happy.
In Chapter 1 of my book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, I ask the reader if they are the “architect of your own life?” On the surface, it seems easy to say yes because you have checked the box on the work, the relationships and the dreams you have. But I would challenge you to probe a little deeper. Do you drive to work dreading your job? Are you in a relationship that is “fine” but not extraordinary? Just because there is nothing wrong in a relationship doesn’t mean everything is right. Are you just existing instead of thriving?
I realized that I was allowing my life to live me; which is why I found myself in a job I didn’t love, a relationship that felt like I was wearing a heavy emotional trench coat, and a life devoid of dreams. When I called my architect up for duty, things began to change. I found my voice, and with that voice came a power and internal authority that had long been missing.
Being the architect of your own life forces you to start living life, not just letting life live you. You have to be present, engaged, and always committed to a bigger cause – your personal happiness! I had to draft a blueprint, like every good architect, that illustrated what it was that I wanted to build. (Permission, Pg. 7)
Do you believe you are the architect of your own life? Do you feel present, engaged and committed to your personal happiness? Most importantly, do you feel like you live life or does life live you? Happiness is a destination only you can build.
Drop a comment below and let me know what you are doing to design the life you want to live!
When I wrote my first book, Permission: Stop Competing & Start Creating the Life You Want to Live, I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming support and positive reviews. To write a book is a very personal journey, and although I wrote very quickly (over 200 pages in 6 weeks), I found the process resonated with me long after. I’m very proud of the fact Permission seems to be striking a cord with readers and audiences as I share my story.
Here is just a sampling of some of the reviews I’ve received:
One may think that Permission is meant mainly to inspire and encourage young women to take command of their lives. Well, I am a male twice Nicole’s age and I am inspired and encouraged by this book, too. I recommend it from three perspectives. First, the storyline is so fascinating and Nicole’s writing style almost puts one in her skin as one feels the intense joy and pain of her personal and business lives. Second, important points are well articulated: like authentic intentions, followed by aggressive pursuing, risk, and trying are what brings good fortune, along with sound social advice, such as dropping basement dweller “friends’. Nicole’s ultimate success proves that her advice works. Third, the ‘how to do it’ portions are helpful.The theme, Permission, is all pervasive as we confront authority, ego, self-concept and will. I found the book persuasive and a good read.
-Rick Kaylor January 10, 2015
Nicole made me laugh and cry (at the same time) … she has a delightful way of telling stories that I could completely relate to. So many women (and men) will enjoy this book and probably feel exactly the same way. Nicole’s life has such inspiration and aspiration, I loved reading all about her experiences and successes. The fact that she has a great network of friends and family and a real “go getter” attitude has made me look at my life and give myself Permission to seek the life I want to live. Thank you for such a great read, I will tell everyone I know to read this book! – Kelly
Permission! is an engaging and inspiring read. Nicole Matthews’ voice is at once both strong and vulnerable, and offers those of us who feel like we have to do it all the guidance to lean on others to help us accomplish our goals. The raw, personal stories Nicole uses to illustrate her ideas for achieving success connect the reader in a way that makes this book hard to put down. -Christene
If you were looking for anyone in the event industry last week, more than likely they were in Anaheim, California at TSE 2015 – The Special Event Conference and Trade Show; the largest industry conference for event planners, vendors and suppliers. I was very fortunate to have been selected to speak all three days. TSE is an annual tradition for the event industry. We attend for education, networking and inspiration. The trade show floor is a visual cornucopia of the latest and greatest decor, furniture and must-have products we can implement in our events. It’s also a great chance for us to network with friends old and new.
Thanks to the creative genius, Ceci Johnson of Ceci New York, I’m proud to show you the cover for my forthcoming book, Permission – Stop Competing and Start Creating the Life You Want to Live. The book will be published before the end of 2014.
Would you like to spread the Permission message? I’m busy booking speaking engagements so let’s chat!
About the Book…
Forget “leaning in” or “leaning out” to get ahead both personally and professionally, Nicole Matthews, Founder and Lifestyle Architect of The Henley Company, champions the power of “leaning on” others to help you to create the life you want to live by being own architect. This witty, humorous and self-deprecating tale of a 40-something that has had more fascinating life experiences than dates, will have you realizing that giving yourself permission is step number one to start living your best life! As the designer of the highly successful, Sex and the City, movie launch party events, and as a leader in the special events community, Matthews is at the top of her game, but not without having to overcome challenges and mend emotionally, financially and personally.
The personal journey of Nicole R. Matthews, a social media loving, generation x’er, who cherishes unique experiences, stamps in her passports and trying to make sense of the opposite sex, is humorously chronicled in Permission – Stop Competing & Start Creating The Life You Want To Live.
Through her stories, Matthews shares the heartbreak she endured that was so deep it rivaled Humpty Dumpty falling off the wall, a depression so profound she spent the night in the ER with the other crazies, and a self-esteem demon that liked to rear its head in the most inopportune moments – like on a date with a man-person! But yet, in spite of the setbacks and the “stuff” she faced, she still has found the courage to give herself permission to get out of broken relationships, start a successful business, and create the opportunities to honor her most precious authentic intentions.
For Matthews, Permission-Stop Competing & Start Creating The Life You Want To Live is a catalyst for launching The Permission Mission, a community of individuals who commit to designing the life they want to live, and to create opportunities that add unique experiences to the fabric of their lives. As part of The Permission Mission, Matthews will start Concierge Circles™, a social club focused on creating a community of women who “lean on” each other for support, encourage each other to become architects of their own lives, manage their busy schedules and seek personal enrichment.